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#6 Its not Geneivah, it’s Shtick |  |
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It is very difficult for us human beings to accept that we do things that are wrong, and so we rationalize. We create illusions and fanciful stories that we ourselves don’t believe. And so, you will find intelligent, otherwise rational people saying things like, “Of course I wouldn’t steal, stealing is dishonest, but this isn’t stealing .It’s “shtick”. We “mach shtick”. We “mach Shtick” with the t... |  |
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#13 Free Will – Part 1: Nefesh Habahami, Nefesh Hasichli | |
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Has there ever been a time when you reacted to something, and you couldn’t believe that it was you who was speaking that way? Have you ever said something and had a feeling of, “What came over me – it was as if I were possessed? In this introduction to the inner workings of the human being, we come face to face with the understanding that I am created from very diverse elements. Within me a... |
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#19 Free will - Part 2: I Never Do Anything Wrong | |
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In this introduction to emunah, we are presented with four basic levels of belief: 1. Hashem created the world. 2. Hashem is involved in the really big picture issues - war, famine, life and death. 3. Hashem knows my inner thoughts. 4. Hashem is intimately involved in my day to day life. After outlining and defining the levels, we are given practical techniques to improve our level of belief in a... | |
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#43 Soton out of the Box | |
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It seems that it should be easier now to grow than in any previous generation. We have wealth, luxuries, freedom from oppression, and we have time. We enjoy so many time saving devices and conveniences that it would surely seems that we are finally free to sit and learn. And in fact, it seems that we should be able to reach great heights - and yet it is harder than ever to serve Hashem. It seems t... | |
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#44 Bar Kamtza - Do you really have Free Will? | |
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I accept that each person’s life span is set before they are born. I also accept that the question is visited on Rosh Hashanah when Hashem decides who will live and who will die. All that is fine and well, until I pick up a gun and say to myself, can’t I decide to end that person’s life? Isn’t it obvious that whether that person will live or die is now in my hands? Using the Tisha B’Av Gem... |
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#42 Tricks of the Soton | |
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Chazal tell us that Hashem created a malach whose sole job it is to trip up man -- to get us to sin, to get us to fail, to get us to mess up.
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#23 I’ll never die. Not me. No way. | |
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While this may be philosophy’s greatest question, isn’t it something that any thinking person must answer: “What is my purpose in existence”? Drawing from The Path of the Just, this Shmuz focuses us on finding the true meaning and purpose of our life.
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#45 WYSIWYG- Developing Willpower | |
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It’s true that I’m not quite where I hope to be one day. It’s even true that there are many thoughts that go through my head that I’m not proud of. I am still selfish and self centered, and there are many things that I feel that I would be deeply ashamed of if anyone else knew about them. But it’s OK, because one day I will change. This Shmuz focuses us on the shocking realization that as... |
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#46 Greatness of Man- Beyond our understanding | |
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Chazal teach us that HASHEM would have created the entire world for one man: the sun, the moon and the stars, the planets and constellations, the oceans, the rivers and the birds -- all for one human being. The question is what exactly is so great about man? What is so fantastically meaningful and significant about one man that it was worth creating all of heaven and earth just for him? U... |
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#47 Cognitive Restructuring | |
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The last of the Ten Commandments is “You shall not covet”. Simply stated one should not be desirous of his neighbor’s property, possessions or any attribute that he may have. On the face of things this seems to be a very difficult mitzvah to observe. If my neighbor has something that is beautiful, he owns a magnificent home, he drives a beautiful car or has a fantastic job, isn't it human nature... | |
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#48 Being a Nice Guy | |
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Most people we meet are “nice guys”. If you were stuck on the road, or if you needed a place to sleep they would be the first to come forward and offer to help. Yet these very same people do things that really aren’t nice-- in fact, sometimes downright cruel. The question is why? Why is it that people who are kind and sweet, do things that are so unquestionably mean? Oftentimes the answe... |
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#62 Plan Your Life, Live Your Plan | |
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Plan your life; live your plan. Set goals for yourself; follow through with them. It sounds like plain common sense, but somehow, most people don’t bother. They get sidetracked by the rat race and the pursuit of pleasure. Winging their way through life, they never reach their full potential. The trick to planning your life effectively is ... |
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#74 Divaykus in Our Times | |
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Falling in love is the most pleasurable and powerful experience most of us will have in our lifetimes. And it comes so naturally, too. Just look at any chosson and kallah. Loving Hashem takes more effort, but the reward can be even greater. After all, His love is all-powerful. Lofty as it sounds, we can all achieve d’vaykus with HASHE... |
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#78 Kiddush HASHEM | |
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Making a kiddush Hashem isn’t just about the big things – like sacrificing one’s life for the sake of a mitzvah – it’s something we can do every day. Ultimately, every Jew is a billboard for Torah. When we behave properly, we have a ripple effect on the people around us. Our “simple” mitzvos make the world a better place. It’s a heavy responsi... |
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#80 It's Never Too Late | |
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We put up many resistances to teshuva. The simplest one is denial. “I’ve never done anything wrong.” But deep down, we know it’s a lie, so guilt festers, perking up at odd moments to tell us, “Who do you think you are – doing mitzvos? You’re a slime and a faker. Stop pretending to be holy.” With all these obstacles, it could almost seem that teshuva is imp... |
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#85 MOTIVATION! | |
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Success may be sweet, but to get there, you need motivation. When things are going swimmingly, motivation comes naturally. But when you hit those inevitable rough spots, you need an extra boost. Where do you get it, especially when you’re in a rut? How can you get motivated when you just aren’t? Motivation works on the positive side and the nega... |
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#86 To Tell the Truth | |
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We’re surrounded by falsehood. We don’t believe our leaders, and we know that all the ads bombarding us are lies. We’re so used to it, we accept as normal. Tzaddikim don’t do that. Lies are anathema to them. They live by their word. Once upon a time, everyone lived that way. Truth and honor meant something, not just to tzaddikim, but to ordinary ... |
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#87 Self Control! | |
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Most of us are wimps. If you don’t believe it, ask yourself what you do when faced with a choice between doing what you want and doing what you should. The nisyonos are different for everybody, but how many of us can claim to be masters over our desires? How many of us have real inner strength, real self-control? Just like a body builder develops his stren... |
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#91 I Never Forget | |
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#97 Living the Good life | |
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#116 - GROWTH | |
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Every human needs to grow; it is an inborn trait in the species. Sometimes, that trait manifests itself into real, significant growth, but sometimes, it is channeled into lesser pursuits. A sure sign of this is when someone incessantly chases after something that never satisfies him. The multi-millionaire who constantly seeks more money, the king who goes to war to expand the boundaries of his alr... | |
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#121 - EMES The Whole Truth | |
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Politicians lie, lawyers lie, salesmen lie -- but we are honest, moral people and we don't lie... Unfortunately, the reality is that the world we live in affects us, and lies - sometimes little ones, sometimes bigger ones, tend to seep into and become part of our lives. Reb Yisroel Salanter defines lying as "Saying words with our mouth that our heart knows aren't true". Using this as our... |
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#122 - Parenting 102 | |
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For thousands of years, parenting was a pretty straightforward responsibility. Society offered highly structured guidelines for behavior. Adult's roles were well-defined, as were children's roles, and throughout the strata of the community, everyone knew his place. New parents had their own parents as role models, and the techniques to use were time-tested and proven -- to fit that world. <... |
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#126 - Dignity of Man | |
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While there is much talk today about the importance of self-esteem and its effect on a person's attitudes and accomplishments, there is a corollary benefit of understanding the greatness of man: if I am obligated to respect myself because I was created in the image of HASHEM, then so too, I must respect you, because you also were created in that same image. In fact, Ben Azzai teaches us that if a ... | |
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#127 - Breaking The Forces Of Habits | |
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We are creatures of habit. We act by habit, we react by habit and, to a large extent, we even think by habit. In truth, it has to be that way. If we didn't act based on previously established patterns of behavior, life would be unmanageable. If we had to think through each and every action, even simple things like turning a corner, our minds couldn’t focus on anything beyond navigating the basics ... | |
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#128 - Kiruv: The Message & The Medium | |
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In 1996, sociologists Gordon and Horowitz published a study entitled, “Will Your Grandchildren Be Jewish?” Their conclusion: based on the general Jewish population’s ever-decreasing birth rates and skyrocketing intermarriage rates, the odds that any Jews will remain at the end of the 21st century are slim to none. However, one category of their study stood out in stark relief -- the Or... |
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#133 - ReJEWvinate | |
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One of the tools of a highly successful person is the ability to stay focused and motivated over long periods of time. Whether in sports, academics or business the effort and consistency needed to accomplish long term goals, requires a high level of motivation and the ability to rejuvenate excitement and enthusiasm. Often times the difference between one who actually reach great ...
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#134 - PARENTING 103: Setting Limits | |
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If you were to poll our community, the average parent would admit “we probably give our children too much.” And while this sentiment may not be clearly spoken out by young parents, once children hit the teen age years, most parents upon reflection would say : “ I wish we had been more firm with them when they were younger”; “We’ve probably spoiled them”; “They would have been bet...
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#135 - Imagination: The Devil's Playground | |
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Eleanor Roosevelt has been credited with saying, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." The reality is that most of the battles that we fight are based on complex constructions -- created by us. Whether they be issues of misunderstanding other's motives, or our fight with passions and desire, or understanding our place in the universe - our fights and battles a...
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#136 - I'm Never Wrong | |
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There is much truth in the adage: There are three sides to every story, your side, my side and the truth. And, even though I fully understand that you might be making a valid point, as soon as we get into an argument, I can no longer even see your side because, of course, I'm right. Why is that? We all make mistakes. That is part of being human. And while I certainly ... |
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#138 - The Potential & The Present | |
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"Considering where I come from and what I've been through, I'm doing pretty well..." While this may be a comforting position to take, the question a person must ask themselves is: is this really all that I can be? What if I were to stop making excuses? What if I was to truly hold myself accountable to live up to my potential? What if I was to go full blast -... |
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#142 - The Power of Laughter | |
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There are certain life lessons that they don't teach you in school. One of them is the importance of maintaining a sense of humor. Not only is this one of the key elements for maintaining a sense of balance and joy as we travel through the trials of life, in terms of our relationships with others, a light touch often spells the difference between harmony and strife-love and ha...
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#143 - Stages of Change – Part 1: Denial | |
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The Vilna Gaon tells us that the main reason for life is to change our middos -"If not" he says, "Why should a person have life?" The difficulty with this mandate is that it means: I have to change. While in theory I may be open to grow -- I may even recognize the many advantage to my life, in practice we humans find it very difficult to change. Ask a person who has... |
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#144 - Stages of Change Part II: Support Groups | |
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Recent studies show that in 2004, there were an estimated 44.5 million adult smokers in the United States, and 70% of them want to quit. Each year, 35% do attempt to stop, yet only 5% succeed -- clearly change isn't easy. Willpower alone isn't enough. A good program for change alone isn't enough. To make change permanent, we need outside help. Support groups are successful for ...
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#145 - Stages of Change Part III: Taking Action | |
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When a person recognizes that he needs to lose weight, it isn't enough for him to read all the latest diet books and find a great plan - the person has to actually "do it." He has to go on that diet and stick to it. But "doing it" requires motivation, not just the initial motivation to begin, but long-lasting motivation that will withstand the tests of life, allowing changes in b...
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#146 - The Impact of One Mitzvah | |
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I do daven with a minyan. I don't. I do a chesed -- I don't. Does it really matter? Does it really make a difference? Very often we find ourselves thinking what is the big deal? Will my actions really change my life? Will they change my world? Yet every once in a while, we come across a single action that does change the world-- a shot heard around the world. Our na... |
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#149 - The System of Tshuvah | |
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We know that Tshuvah works. The Nivim told us it does, Chazal repeat it many, many times, and we even have Yom Kippur, a day created specifically for tshuvah. The question isn't whether Tshuvah works, but why I don't make use of it? Why is it that I don't stand there on Yom Kippur with tears flowing down my face, repenting, improving, ridding myself of a year's wort... |
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#151 - Be Brave, Be Bold | |
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All the great leaders and teachers of the Jewish Nation had faults and flaws. The Torah tells us the shortcomings of Avrohom, Dovid, and Shlomo. More amazingly, the Gemarah tells us that the four men who never sinned aren't counted amongst the greatest of our nation. Why? The reason is simple. HASHEM didn't put us on the planet not to sin. HASHEM created us to act - ... |
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#153 - Marriage: A Work in Progress | |
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Each one of us stands under the chuppah starry-eyed, knowing full well that we have found eternal love and bliss. Yet, something happens between that moment and real life. The reality is that getting married is easy, but staying married isn't. This Shmuz is Part I of a Marriage series that deals with the essential of creating long lasting Shalom Bayis. ... |
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#156 - Get Out of Debt | |
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Shmuz Info Coming Soon... ... |
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#154 - Marriage: A Work in Progress PART II | |
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Each one of us stands under the chuppah starry-eyed, knowing full well that we have found eternal love and bliss. Yet, something happens between that moment and real life. The reality is that getting married is easy, but staying married isn't. This Shmuz is Part II of a Marriage series that deals with the essential of creating long lasting Shalom Bayis. ... |
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#157 - Learning to Love Learning | |
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Shmuz Info Coming Soon... ... |
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#159 - 212 Degrees - Just One Degree Hotter | |
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Shmuz Info to Come ... |
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#160_Purim: Sheep to the Slaughter and Concert Bans | |
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When Adar enters we increase Joy. Yet how can we be happy when we live in such troubling times? From rockets falling daily on S'derot, to the brutal massacre of 8 of our Yeshiva Bochurim in Yeshivat Merkas HaRav -- It has been difficult to feel joy. In the midst of it all many are troubled by the recent ban by Gadolim on a concert in America. ... |
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Misilos Yesharim - Understanding Life | |
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Misilos Yesharim - Understanding Life  According to what you are saying I wasted my entire life He might well be correct Had he thought about ... |
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#162_Learning to Care | |
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Shmuz #162 Learning to Care WATCH THE SHMUZ HERE |
