The Shadchan says, "So tell me, what are you looking for?" And, out comes the laundry list.
"I need someone who is extroverted, funny, and outgoing."
"I need a woman who is very frum, good, kind, tolerant, and funny."
"I need a guy who is tall, a take-charge type, strong but not headstrong."
And unwittingly, many people make the first mistake of the dating game - they aren't looking for their Bashert- they have already formed him in their minds, and now are out to find the one that comes the closest to that image.
It is almost like the children's toy Mr. Potato Head. You get to design the doll, choose red lips, big ears, small eyes, short legs…
Before going out most people go through a sort of personal inventory: "Let's see. Since I am…., I need…" Unconsciously, they put together a wish list of qualities to take out into the market place. Then amazingly, they find themselves frustrated. "I just can't find Mr. Right."
This is a must-listen-to Shmuz offering a practical down to earth way to avoid the two most common mistakes made in finding and keeping your Bashert.